6 days to 41

Yesterday, I blogged about my countdown to my 41st birthday:
What 40 years taught me… a countdown to Monday! « Rica Rants & Raves.
For the whole week preceding my birthday, I am sharing, everyday, what I have learned in the past 40 years, what I believe, and what may shape the rest of my life.

Today, I am celebrating FAMILY.
Everybody agrees, right? WRONG.
When things are going great…
When needs and wants are being met…
When unconditional adoration keeps flowing…
When everything is comfortable and convenient…
Of course no family member is replaceable!

But **** happens. Disappointments can’t be avoided, even to a seemingly perfect family.
Perfection is an illusion.
Change is inevitable.
And when this happens, I was shocked to find out that some can easily discard family like yesterday’s news.

I have witnessed and participated in so much love, joy, empathy, pain, betrayal, cruelty, melancholy, hope and hopelessness in my 40 years for a decent telenovela!
Did I give up?
To some who have obviously lost their marbles, a resounding YES.
Yes I gave up hoping for change in those who are obviously delusional and self-destructive.
But, while hope has dwindled, sympathy and acceptance remains.
After all, the sadness that comes with sympathy and acceptance somehow shows I still care.
Family is family, in good times and especially in the worst of times.

I am not saying it isn’t a struggle!
But I welcome the emotional tug of war. It’s proof that my heart hasn’t totally turned to stone and that my mind is still open to possibilities.

I only hope that sympathy and acceptance triumph over delusions and self destruction too.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King in “Strength To Love” (1963)



  1. mallotte

    Yeah, we’ve been through so much but I believe that there’s love there somehow because we’ve experienced pain. We wouldn’t hurt so much if we didn’t care.

    • Oh yes. Love is there alright. I know what I feel is love when it comes with both joy and pain. If it’s only joy…. That’s something else. That’s not real love. Those who call that love are selfish and cowards.

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